Happy Funkin Valentine's Day y'all! I'm more inclined to celebrate what I am calling "House of Cards" Day with my boyfriend Netflix, but for those of you gettin' down with an actual in-the-flesh sweet thang tonight, here are my top five funk tunes to get those pants droppin and braziers poppin!
5. "Strawberry Letter 23"
The Brothers Johnson
This sweet little tune almost didn't make the cut because of its high cheese factor, but in the end I had to include it. Not only will it make you feel like you've hopped in a hot tub and spiraled straight back to '78, but you'll be wishing your bed was actually lush shag carpet and you'll both be imagining he has a porn stache. Roll with it.
4. "Green Eyed Love"
I know there's some hot shit out there, and thus am sure this statement can be easily disproved, but this might be the sexiest shit ever. The whole A Strange Arrangement album is way up there on my Sexiest Shit Ever list. And actually, this is the first song on my "Get It On" playlist. It sets the mood right every time but now I'm like Pavlov's dog and every time I hear it... well. Moving on.
3. "Do It Like You Do"
Lettuce ft. Nigel Hall
Lettuce really brought me to my knees with this one. Pun intended. And Nigel's ultra-smooth vocals are the icing on the cake. I think there was an opportunity for a pun there too, but I'm blanking becuase this song's got me distracted. Gentlemen, give this one a try. It might just bring your partner to their knees too.
2. "Anti-Love Song"
Oh, Betty. Ohhhh, Betty. This is a nasty little jam and although it's technically about all the things she's "not" gonna do to her man, it's really about all the things she's gonna do to her man and vice versa. And it'll make you wanna do all the same things with your Valentine's Day honey. Plus, she basically expells every lyrics with a sensual moan. Hope you're not listening to this at work, fellas. Good luck hiding your boner.
1. "I'd Rather Be With You"
I feel like I really don't even need to explain this choice but alas, I will. First off, only Bootsy can end a song by telling you he's gonna cum in your eye and still make it romantic. And really, can you ever go wrong with Bootsy? This song is one damn sexy aphrodisiac. Just listen to that beat and Booty's to-the-fucking-point lyrics. Do you still have your clothes on? If the answer is yes, I'm honesty shocked.
Well, that was tough to make it through. I'm off to take a cold shower. Happy House of Cards Day!
Let's Get a Lil' Deep Now
Some Thoughts on Music + Love
A few months ago a friend and I stumbled upon a pretty cool correlation between love and music. At some point while standing in the crowd at The Vic watching JJ Grey & Mofro do their thing -and do it well, I might add- we both caught the other looking around the room in awe. The energy was fantastic and every face had a huge smile on it, you couldn't help but be taken aback. Not that it was shocking; the band was serenading us with an insane rendition of "Lochloosa" with the AMAZING Ed Williams (The Revivalists) sitting in on steel guitar.
I couldn't find a video from the Chicago show but here's one from the same tour. Just fucking amazing. So you can see why everyone was smiling, right? Anyway, in the midst of this killer tune, my friend leaned over and told me how he'd heard that the heartbeats of an entire audience listening to the same music can actually become synchronized. What a cool thought. While processing how amazing this fact was, I remembered an article I had come across not a week earlier about a recent study done at the University of California. Researchers found that couples in love, when placed in a quiet, isolated room and instructed not to speak to or touch one another, will end up having synchronized heart beats and breathing patterns (They also found that it was mostly the women that adjust to their partners rather than the men, but that's a whooole other blog post.). What makes this really amazing though, is that when they did the same research with people who were not romantically involved, there was no synchronization. I shared this info with my friend and we both kind of lit up when connecting these two pieces of information. Hilariously enough, I think we might have even hugged we were so excited. I do know it may seem like a bit of a jump, but if a symptom of love is synchronized heartbeats and music can make an entire theater of people sync up, it's not hard to believe that there is a whole SHIT TON of love in there, whether the chicken came first or the egg. That being said, I'm not naive to the many possible scientific explanations behind all of this and the fact that everything I'm saying could be easily debunked, but I choose to take it this way: music is love and love is music. Plain and simple.